Driving on SR 15 Saturday afternoon, I couldn't help notice
several caravans heading to move-in day for some college – or at least that’s
the conclusion I reached.
One in particular caught my imagination. “Dad” was driving a
pickup loaded with what appeared to be either a sofa or a futon covered with a
tarp. Right on his tail was this cute little yellow car. Its driver, a young
lady with straight blond hair, chewing her fingernails.
She was so close to the pickup that I assumed as soon as he
moved back into the right lane that she would zip on by him. Instead as soon as
there was (barely) enough room between the pickup and the vehicle being passed
she too moved to the right lane, never leaving more than three feet between the
two vehicles.
At that point I noticed a third vehicle in the caravan, a
mini-van, drove by “mom.” She was leaving a reasonable amount of space between
her and the little yellow car, but definitely not enough to invite anybody to
get between them.
Caravans much like this one will be heading to Bluffton on
Friday. Parents will be bringing their first, their last, their only child to
college. Students will be relying on one parent, two parents, siblings or
extended family to help settle in.
If I might be so bold to give a bit of advice from the realm
of “been there, done that.”
Dad, look in the rearview. See that little girl/beautiful
young lady afraid to lose you? I know you want to hold her tight and never let
her go. But for her sake, she has to know that you know she can do this – on
her own. Of course you can do nothing to keep her from tailgating right now,
but encourage her to be courageous, to set her own destination and find her own
way.
Mom, why is it that we are always in the rear, counting
heads, making sure nobody gets off track? Your daughter may not make the same
choices you would. She may change majors, she may decide to take a semester
abroad, she may dye her golden locks purple. It’s OK. It’s her journey. Give
her advice. But do not insist that she follow your advice. You've given her a
firm foundation. She may stumble as she finds her way, but she will find her
way.
Daughter, in the cute little yellow car, I know you are
nervous. It’s a big step moving away from home. They may not say it, they may
have trouble showing it, but your parents are so very proud of you and want the
very best for you. And as hard as it is for you to leave, it’s just that hard
for them to let you go.
So once the final box is unpacked. When it’s time for
goodbye hugs, time for orientation activities to begin. Stand tall, take a deep
breath, leave that nest…
But do try to call home at least once a week.
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